Security Guard.

We came home to our house tonight, and since our garage door recently broke, we have to go through the front gate and use the front door. No one has keys to the front gate, because there is a security guard to open the gate 24/7.
So we walk up to the gate, and ring the bell. We wait. Ring again. No answer. Alex yells for security to come. No answer. After a few minutes we realize no one is going to answer the gate. We are locked out of our house. We are out on the street at 9:30 at night.

Outside our house there is a small sign with the security's phone number, so we call it. The immediately assure us someone is on the way. And we wait 5 minutes. We call again. Same thing again, someone assures us a car is coming to our house. This happens three more times until 20 minutes later a car finally pulls up to our house. 2 security guards get out of the car.

The 2 security guards assure us that there is a guard inside the gate. The walk to the gate and ring the bell. (As if we didn't try it already) And they wait. They ring it again. Wait. Then they walk around, yelling at the person who is supposed to be standing guard. No answer. They continue to walk around looking up and down at the fence, and electric fence. After 10 minutes of them walking back and forth around our house, 2 other security guards pull up on their own motorcycles.

These 2 security guards with the motorcycles are better security guards. They have body armor, they have guns. They are ready. (And we felt safer standing outside on the street at night) The hard core security guards go up to the gate, they ring the bell. No answer. They walk around. They look over the fence. They continue to walk around for a good 5 minutes until they decide they will have to climb over the fence. You can tell no one wants to try to climb over an electric fence. Finally one of the hard core security guards man up and takes off his armor to climb.

He reaches up to grip the top of the cement wall and asks for a boost. 2 security guards lift up each foot. The climbing guard finally gets his knees on the very edge of the top of the cement wall without touching the electric fence. He carefully moves one arm over the electric fence. No his body is straddling the electric fence. At this point I am trying so hard not to laugh. The guard is stuck awkwardly on top of the fence. He has no where to go. Then all of a sudden he yells out in pain and uses an english swear word (he probably doesn't even know what the word means). At this point I have to walk away so I can laugh out loud. So now we know that our electric fence does really work. We had our doubts. He finally gives up and asks for help off the tall cement wall.

All six of us continue to stand outside our house with no keys.

A few minutes of discussing, the 2 security guards leave to go get a ladder. Me and Alex continue to stand out in the street with the hard core security guards. 15
minutes later, they return with a ladder, and 1 more security guard.

The ladder is shorter than the cement wall, so there is still an electric fence to hop over. So its not much help. The same guard that tried to climb over the fence earlier climbed up the ladder. He tried again to get balanced on the edge of the cement wall without getting shocked. Alex finally gives up hope and tells him to come down. Alex climbs the ladder, does the awkward balance thing on the edge of the wall, then holds on to the tree on the other side of the fence. Somehow, he gets over the fence without getting shocked. The 5 security guards are amazed. They talk amongst themselves of the courage Alex must have. Alex then opens the garage door. The 5 security guards rush in the house, go outside and search. And guess what they found? Our guard. Asleep. He was sleeping like a baby. I can't believe he didn't wake up through all the bell ringing, yelling, horn honking. That guy got fired right there.

I feel bad for him, getting a job in Mozambique is not an easy thing. I saw him grab his things and walk out the gate. You could totally tell his had just woken up. He looked so sad. But come on, you're sleeping! We were outside trying to get inside for over an hour! I still feel bad.

We now have a new security guard outside our house tonight.

I will sleep well (hopefully)